34 hrs

So I'm feeling pretty positive about keeping track of the hours and then days of sobriety better this time. Hopefully it and the blog will help keep me on track. Work has been really slow the last couple of months. When it picks up, I really need to get a smart phone so I can blog from there since internet is not available at the house. My drinking started to become a problem gradually after we opened our own business 7 yrs ago. It's a huge amount of responsibility and stress; somehow I got in the habit of having a drink or two before bed to "de-stress". Then I would drink on the weekends "to relax". Then I started waking up at 2-3 am, having a drink or two, then going back to bed. Drinking everyday became normal :X Sometimes a few beers, sometimes a bottle of wine, often an unhealthy amount of vokda in my diet pepsi. Now I have a horrible time getting to sleep w/o drinking something first. I lay there and toss and turn...itchy and restless. Knowing this, I got something to help me sleep last night. Just an OTC med to temporarily help. Not a great answer, but a realistic one. Getting up after hrs of tossing & turning; and having a drink to help me sleep is how I keep falling back in. I must do this! I am causing damage to my heart and body. And no matter how much I don't want to admit it: It effects who I am as a wife and mother.